Where is the manual???

By now, we have all heard of the mother who made her son sign a contract in order to have the privilege of using an iPhone. Her son is 13. I absolutely love this idea. The points in this contract are so obvious, so duh, if you will. But spelling it out and making him sign it -- just brilliant. Kudos, mom! My problem, or maybe it is more appropriate to "what freaks me out", is not the rules by which we will make our children abide once they become proud borrowers of a cell phone which we purchase and lend to them. No, oh no. What freaks me out is at what age do we make them those proud borrowers??

I remember when our daughter was born. That first moment in the hospital room, when the nurses all leave us alone. It was just mom, dad and baby. Just hanging out. Staring at each other. I remember thinking, OK. What now? Where's that manual that outlines, minute by minute, my baby's first hours. Her first days. I NEED THE MANUAL!

And then, we brought her home and we realized hey! We will just wing it as all parents before us did, and as all parents after us will. Wing it! Yeah, score parental points right of the bat for winging it!

And then this whole smartphone, text messaging, social media, app ridiculousness set in and I find myself, once again, crying out for the manual. I don't want to hear "you'll know when they are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come along with a cell phone." Or "each child is different. Use your parental compass. It will guide you." In the immortal words of my 3 year old: no, no, no, no, NO! My parental compass wants an answer. It wants a manual.

For some reason, this is the parental decision that wears on my mind...and my kids are nowhere near an appropriate age. Gone are the days when you could use a pay phone if you needed to call mom or dad. Or you just waited for them to pick you up...if they were late, they were late. You dealt with it. Unfortunately, in our world today, things just are not that simple. So, we will be forced to make that decision in a few years. At what age do we give them that freedom, that privilege? And to what extent? The most basic of phones so they can call and text, but none of this Facebooking or tweeting or surfing or downloading? An iPhone with a  parent/child contract? (Have I mentioned how much I love that contract idea??)

I think I have the whole "kid, here are the rules that go along with your new phone" thing down. Thanks to Mom there who paved the way with her contract! I still want the manual for age, though...and a manual for a whole bunch of other parenting decisions. As my sister-in-law put it this morning, "ever just sit back and wonder 'what if I'm doing this whole mom thing all wrong?'" At least I'm not alone in my feelings!