Paging Dr. Mom

One of the primary reasons I have for tapping into the social media world, which I see as possibly its most beneficial function, is seeking out advice from other moms. It is as true as it ever was, I believe, that it takes a village to raise a child, although that village may span the globe rather than consisting of the multi-generational households immediately closest to me. Many if not most of us in modern America live far from the villages and families of our youth. Our own mothers are not a few huts away when we need guidance. And so we turn to technology to serve needs unmet by proximity.

In this season of the epic flu, my 15-month-old has been sick for several weeks. She's got the typical cough, cold, and intermittent low-grade fever, but presumably due to all the mucus (holy phlegmoly, so much mucus), she's also been throwing up on a disturbingly regular basis. Which is the most fun.

The pukes began very unexpectedly and publicly - at church, in the midst of an adult Sunday school class (oddly and grossly enough, that makes my kids two for two in pulling that trick in the exact same circumstances). As social etiquette would dictate, I posted an apology on Facebook for everyone who witnessed the unfortunate event. It garnered 20 comments, which is way more than even my most witty thoughts typically elicit. Turns out, everyone has a puke story.

Thus began a week of hemming and hawing about taking her to the doctor before the sheer volume of vomit forced me to make the call. Our doctor's office does not "do" walk-in appointments or sick-kid hours and my insurance doesn't cover urgent care other than the ER (my total and utter dissatisfaction with that whole situation is a post for another time… maybe. Probably not.) And so we were squeezed in to see what I thought was going to be a pediatrician, but turned out to be a physician's assistant who gave us some nasal saline drops and a bulb syringe and bid us good day. Time well spent.

So where can we go when the experts leave us hanging - or our kids aren't quite sick enough to warrant a doctor's visit, or we're struggling with making that judgment call? Where else? To the village! Yes, Google and WebMD are all well and good for many questions, especially when it's a matter of self-diagnosis, but when it's my children's health I really seek comfort from the voices of people I know, whose parenting instincts have proven sound. Maybe I can't remember how high or long-lasting a fever needs to be before really worrying. Or I don't know what to look for as symptoms of an ear infection. Or I can't manage to get a doctor's opinion or prescription to try children's Mucinex, but if I can find a critical mass of support online, it's going to balance out the warnings on the label that I not give it to my child under 4. Maybe I've been up every hour for a couple nights straight and all I really need is a little commiseration.

Does this render our kids' pediatricians irrelevant? The answer's not yes, but it's not necessarily no. Having access to reassurances, words of warning, and several experience-informed opinions at the very least gives the mother of a sick child more resources than she might have while waiting for daylight in an overbooked doctor's schedule. I certainly hope we're all wise enough to recognize a true emergency, and not waste time scrolling through mommy message boards when we need to be dialing 911. (Side note: The American Red Cross and American Heart Association have great, simple mobile apps available for helping, heaven forbid, should we need to respond to those types of situations. My dad put me on to those. Go Dad!) But for all of the many ailments of lesser urgency, turning to our peers online gives us not only the near-guarantee of a quick reply, but also an added dose of perspective from those who have been there, whose response to routine illness is likely less clouded by emotions and sleep deprivation than our own.

It's just one way in which the community of moms empowers each other. We may not be as readily available to one another, in terms of physical presence, as prior generations. But our village is still intact. And during a trying flu season, it's been the only remedy that never fails to make me feel better.