It's catching on...

I had the news on the other evening while cooking dinner for the fam. I typically don't have the chance to listen very closely to the evening news (with the cooking and the screaming and the running through the house and the barking dog and the, well, you get the idea), but for some reason, a segment came on and it was like the TV automatically turned up its volume for me.

Meet Katie Greer of KL Greer Consulting. One of our local channels had her in studio for an interview. She's fabulous, and it is not just because we share the same name! She has great advice for monitoring our kids' technology use, including social media. She consults, speaks and holds programs geared at just about every age group.

This isn't going away -- this thing called the Internet and social media. And it is up to us as parents to be even more involved in our kids' digital lives than ever. There are resources out there...and we are not alone. We are all in this together!

Time for a Change

So, it's been months. Months. Many months. Without a post. Without a set strategy or path for this blog. I could say that part of my 2014 resolutions is to revamp it. Put more effort into it. Make it work. Truth is, I do want to make it work. But in a way that works for me.

So, instead, my plan for this blog is being put on hold to go back to the basics. To identify the purpose and goal behind it first. Then the plan will follow. As will, hopefully, a stellar blog that keeps everyone wanting to read more. We shall see...

I Unliked You - Don't Take it Personally

Seems odd, doesn't it? Coming from someone who works in social all day long? Who actually believes in the better good and power of social media (when used correctly)? Yep. Seems odd.

Recently, I went through Facebook and unliked countless pages - most of them mommy bloggers. Seems cruel, right? I mean, I, too, am a mommy blogger. We are supposed to share and spread the love, right? (Did I mention that I took down my own Facebook page during the height of my unliking?)

In the beginning, I tried. I really did. I went around and showed some love, liking just about every mommy blogger Facebook page I could find. I made the effort. I tried to follow all of them. But the one, common, depressing, negative theme that took over my newsfeed was how hard and unrewarding parenthood, specifically motherhood, is...OK, it is hard. But we all know that. So, since we all know that, the next challenge that took over my newsfeed was how each of them could outscore the other. MY experience in motherhood is more difficult and unrewarding than the next gal's, and I will post every 15 minutes as to why. Why my mornings are harder, why my carpool lanes are longer, why I have more laundry and a messier house. Why my kids argue more. Why bedtime is worse at my house.

Call me an eternal optimist. Call my rose-colored glasses unrealistic. Call me crazy. But I decided then to remove all that negative complaining from my newsfeed and start reaping the joy that motherhood/parenthood brings. Because I have enough stress in my life outside the house. And I have enough situations where my actions and work definitely go unrewarded (or even unrecognized).

So don't take it personally that I unliked you. There are many of you out there that experienced the transition from thumbs up to not. You keep doing what makes you happy and I will turn to doing (and reading) what makes me happy.

Hugs!

Time to be the Parent

Over the weekend, I was taking an online course to re-certify my safe environment status. I volunteer at our church, and this is part of the effort to make our children safe in all environments. For my course this year, I chose online safety -- protecting our kids online, most specifically against online predators. Now, I'm online every day, as we all know, for work. I most definitely know that the Internet is forever and basically anything can be hacked, including things like parental controls. But even I watched the video with a tad bit of horror. As my kids get older, and their familiarity with the computer grows, I will be facing these challenges as a parent -- not as a professional. And that scares me. This course scared me, because I made myself view it as a parent. I tried to ignore all of the intimate knowledge I have of the online and social media world and took the course as a parent. Wow.

This is my one soapbox post for the year (OK, maybe not the year, but still!). I do encourage parents to take more than what you would think is an active role in your child's online activity. Because bad things online can, AND DO, happen to anyone. OnGuardOnline.gov has excellent resources for anyone, but especially for parents. There is an entire section on protecting kids online. I found this cheat sheet on talking to your kids eye-opening and helpful. Talking to your kids about being safe online and educating them about child predators and online pornography (which is the number one online industry!) is not easy. No one is saying it is. But it is necessary.

As is monitoring your child's online activity. The online course I took made a point of emphasizing (over and over and over again) that, as a parent, you should set the expectation with your children that there is no expectation of privacy with their computer use. You will know their passwords to everything, and you will log onto their accounts, on occasion, to see their activity. The computer will not be in their bedroom, but rather in a very public room in the house (if it is a laptop, set the rule that it will not be taken to a child's bedroom). And do know that, especially with tech-savvy kids, manipulating any parental control settings is possible. Kids can, and do, change parental control settings all the time. Although it is a nice tool, especially for younger, less tech-savvy kids, do not place blind faith in the feature.

And then there is the whole issue of kids on social media. Remember, even though social media sites will "impose" an age minimum, any child can go around that. It is not a fail-safe, it is there merely to "protect" the social media company. Every parent will decide for themselves when to let their children on social media. Remember, though, that once your children sign up with a social media site, they are up there on this WORLD WIDE web. And anyone can track them down (don't be fooled by privacy settings). It is OK to tell your children they are too young to be on social media. They will probably say they hate you, that you are "so not fair" and that every single one of their friends is on Facebook. But hey, you've heard it all before, right? I hear it for merely telling my kid she can't have a snack five minutes before dinner!

One of my most important reminders (one that I have to battle with others at the office every day) is that the Internet is forever. If your child posts a photo online and later "deletes" or "removes" it, those actions did not accomplish what your child (or possibly you) believe. It did not delete it from the Internet. It is still out there AND it is still accessible. And don't forget, while it was "published", anyone can perform that handy trick of "right clicking" to download, copy, save and make viral any photo online.

When the time is right for your child to be online, please also talk to them about cyber-bullying. This is another difficult conversation, but again, extremely important. Educate them about both sides of cyber-bullying, because either side is horrible.

Please, please, please, for the sake of our kids, chose this time to play your ultimate parent card. Our kids do not need us to be friends or guidance counselors for their online activity. They need us to be parents. To step up and lay down the firm, undeniable law. There is an abundance of resources out there for parents, helping them with tips from talking to your kids to advising them on what to do and say over social media. The time to protect them is now...before something happens.

...and off the soapbox. Thanks for indulging!

Bing It!

We have a small line up of inspirational mom stories in the works, but we depart from our regularly scheduled programming so I can take my two woman mission to the blogosphere.

Recently (OK, probably not so recently, more like 8+ months ago), I have taken to using bing.com for my Internet searching. What? You have? Really? Why? When Google is still so much fun to say?! Yes, I have been binging it. A phrase I find way more fun to say than "google it." And I've been recruiting members for my team. So far, the only willing participant is a colleague -- she knows. She knows the great benefits derived from binging it.

Why Bing? I started using Bing as a comparison to Google. I was finding search results for my firm on Google were seemingly, unrealistically way too far down the page, or, worse yet, on page two or even three! We were following all of the so-called well-known facts regarding SEO, so why such poor results? Enter Bing. When I started comparing, I noticed that our results on Bing were much more prominent. Even #1 or #2 on the first page prominent. Sold! I didn't even care why. I didn't even WANT to know why. To be able to go back to my lawyers and say well, on Bing, our results are most excellent, was satisfaction enough.

As a result of being sold, I now use Bing for all my searches. Whether I am trying to find something to do with my kids on the weekend or trying to find various legal blogs, I bing it!

The problem? Why, then, if Bing's results are so much better, is there a problem? Yep, you guessed it. Google is still more attractive as a search engine. And now I have to ask the why question? Why? When I compare the two, Bing is totally way better. And when I compare the presentation/design of the search result pages, Google, to me now, is so cluttered and uninviting. Whereas Bing, well Bing's search result pages look clean and lovely. But how can just two women change perceptions?

Luckily, Bing (in the form of Microsoft) is dropping a lot of money to help us out! They have launched a rather elaborate bingiton.com! campaign. Go on, go ahead. Click on the link. Test it out. I'll wait...

Well, what do you think? Try a few more test searches. Compare the results and the result presentation to Google. And tell us what you think over on our Facebook page. Will you be binging it from now on?

The hard parts

I haven't posted here in a bit because I've been busy - really busy - trying not to lose my mind.

I have a little boy, and he is wonderful. Outgoing, funny, sharp. I have not the slightest idea where he gets some of his super endearing personality quirks, but they are what makes him who he is and I absolutely love them, and him. But he is also three. And defiant, unpredictable, and willful. Unfortunately, I know exactly where he gets those traits. He has as hard a time handling setbacks in stride as his daddy and I both do.

I had been told by wiser mothers who had been through this before that the terrible twos all too often have nothing on the threes. But we're on the backside of three and a half and it almost seems to be getting worse instead of better. I have tried to do and be everything that might help him exhibit more appropriate behavior and handle his frustrations more constructively. We give him clear and consistent rules and boundaries. I aim for positive reinforcement, and try to say "yes" more than "no." We give him space to work out his fits when he just needs to scream and shout for awhile. We try to provide him with choices wherever possible so that he feels a sense of control in his little life.

But I still feel like I am failing.

I feel like I just completely missed some lesson of mom training. Like there's something all the other moms know to do or not do that helps their kids to just... deal. I would not describe my kids - either of them - as very "even keel," and that's fine. They're growing up to be passionate people and I hope to help them direct that drive into whatever their goals may be. But at this age I feel, many days, like I'm trying to stop a locomotive. I am exhausted. And I just need someone to tell me - again - that it's just a phase.

And if you could also tell me when it ends that would be great.

Cruisin' Disney Style

Ahhhh, spring break. It actually meant something in our house this year. With our oldest in kindergarten, we decided last year that we would join the family on a spring break 2013 vacation. Actually, we told the family they were joining us. On a Disney cruise. Period. And by family, I mean family plus the extension of our family -- in the form of my sister's and my dear friend, her husband, their just about 5 year old, and her mother.

My husband and I love cruising. We did our share of cruising before kids came along. Then it came to an abrupt halt. Partially because we lacked the energy. But mostly because we refused to pay such crazy prices for small children, babies really, who would never benefit from such a vacation. Then we found ourselves with two potty-trained, school-going kids, and we thought. Yes! Now is the perfect time to introduce them to this world on the water. Let's go!

We booked our cruise aboard the Disney Fantasy some 360 days out. You want to talk about depressing?? Yeah, how in the world was I going to start counting down, start looking forward to a trip 360+ days out?? I mean, we still needed to get through all our birthdays, Easter, summer, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day before we would even think about packing for this vacation. Of course, I follow everything Disney on Facebook, including the cruise line, so I had to endure day after day, reading posts about the warm climates, the fun activities, the drinks of the day, and on and on and on. But, amazingly enough, this thing called time (you know, the thing that ages us all without our consent, causes our children to grow and develop into wonderful people, that thing called time??) kept ticking along, and we finally found ourselves on the road (yes, we drove. From Texas to Florida. Crazy, maybe.), every mile getting closer and closer to that ship that was on its way back to port to pick US up. Whew! I thought it would never get here!

And all that anticipation? Was it worth it? Absolutely. Hands down. The cell phones and electronic devices were turned off and we were unplugged from the outside world. The only world we knew for seven days was the world aboard that ship and three magnificent ports along the way.

So, how was our first cruise avec les enfants? It did not disappoint. But then again. It is Disney. And, well, you know how I feel about Disney. In a nutshell, I would most definitely recommend cruising. To anyone and everyone. And, when cruising with kids, I would ALWAYS recommend Disney. Why? Here are my top ten Disney moments from our Disney cruise.

#10: The photos + the family = unforgettable memories. The photographers aboard the ship are great. They are clearly skilled in snapping just the perfect shot when the character(s) is in place, when all of the kids present in the photo are looking at (or towards the camera) and, when all else fails, creating laughter in the silliest of ways (like the one photographer who encouraged my child to say boogers to get him to laugh for the picture). The pictures, of course, are printed beautifully, with all of the Disney creativity, logos, etc., making it very hard to resist dropping $100+ on prints. But hey, memories are priceless, right?? (If you see my husband, mention that to him, OK?)

#9: Our over-sized balcony. Which was huge! I had every intent of "upgrading" our cabin when we checked in for the cruise. To the concierge level. Or hell, a suite, if the price was right. I have to admit, disappointment set in when I was told that there was nothing available. The only cabins still left were ones the same size as ours, but with smaller balconies. OK, OK, fine. We will keep the one we had. The very nice, friendly woman who checked us in said we wouldn't regret it. And she was right! Our balcony was huge! The perfect place for family deck parties before the evening entertainment kicked it. We enjoyed this very special family time, with the perfect backdrop - either water or island.

#8: Pirate Night!! Their themed "Pirates IN the Caribbean" night is definitely not to be missed, although unfortunately, I DID miss the only fireworks display at sea, due to two overly exhausted children, one of whom fell asleep at dinner. I guess I will have to catch those fireworks next time, because, yes, there WILL be a next time, folks. The early evening pirate show had Captain Mickey "fighting" off Captain Jack Sparrow to "reclaim" the ship. It was, of course, well done and highly entertaining. Great photo ops and memories galore.

#7: Castaway Cay. Disney's private island. Um, yeah. Truly a paradise island, not to be missed. And only accessible via Disney. This pristine, Disney-themed island is fun, beautiful and crawling with the likes of Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Chip and Dale, Donald and the rest of the gang. Paradise, Disney-style? Oh yes! Sign me up!

#6: The activities and the characters. The daily activities and the character appearances are phenomenal. And of course, you only get that with Disney. Mickey isn't appearing on any other cruise line. Our daughter chose, as one of her purchases, one of those Disney characters autograph books. She ran around that ship in search of as many characters as possible to sign her book, growing more and more excited with each signature and photo with them. The activities for both adults and children are just as phenomenal. I was sad to have missed a few of their cooking demos for adults -- tired, cranky kiddos had me monitoring nap time a few days. I was also sad to have missed some of the family activities (like family game shows and dance parties) that were probably a bit above the head of a three year old. We will save those for the next cruise! But I did hear that they were all great, enjoyable fun. We did have the chance to participate in all of the deck parties, including the sail-away party and the Disney Channel Stars party, both of which had the utmost, undivided attention of my children -- wide-eyed, mouths open sort of attention.

#5: The staff. In traveling with some of the other cruise lines, we did encounter some great staff members. However, we never encountered a staff member who actually read books to our son to keep him occupied and entertained while his sister ate breakfast. But Latoya did. She read him two books. And he sat there and listened. Attentively. We also had the great fortune of one of the youth activities crew members locating our lost (yep, I lost it! My fault!) file folder, which had our travel documents and nearly $1000 in Disney gift cards in it. She found it and returned it. Everything still intact. Our dinner servers performed magic every night for the six kids in our party. There were others. Many others who made our trip enjoyable. In short, they were all an integral part of the magic of our vacation.

#4: Animator's Palate. Disney does rotational dining, which is such a creative idea. There are three dining rooms, all themed, and you rotate your dinners each night. Our first night was in Royal Court, second night in Animator's Palate, third in Enchanted Garden. Repeat. Animator's Palate is Disney defined. In this dining room, the characters from Finding Nemo come to life, hosted by Crush (the turtle). During dinner on our first night, Crush, through the television screens, held a conversation with our daughter. He asked her name, where she was from, etc. And then repeated her answers! This was not some crew member dressed up as Crush. Crush was appearing before us on the TV. Talking to our daughter! She was beyond amazed! On our second night in the dining room, we were given place mats to draw -- create our own character. Adults and children! Later in the evening, they collected the drawings and brought them to life on the screens. Our characters became animated! The smiles on the kids' faces, the sparkle in their eyes. Again, sooooo worth it! This dining room was definitely the favorite of our entire party!

#3: The Mickey Pool. An odd one to make it to the list? And at number three?? Not when you insert my three and a half year old son. Who swam in that pool every day. This pool has a maximum depth of two feet and is shaped like Mickey Mouse himself. His confidence in his swimming grew with each passing day, thus bringing joy to him and to his parents, as we watched this little guy have the time of his life. This is where, as his swim teacher agreed, he found his breath. He put two and two together from his lessons and figured out the whole swimming and breathing thing. With Mickey there as his witness.

#2: The Broadway-style musical shows. Leave it to Disney to take songs from their animated flicks and recycle them for use in original story-line musical sensations, unique to their cruises. Five out of seven nights, we were entertained by, hands-down, the best singers and dancers on the seven seas. Disney even created an Aladdin mini-musical at sea! Nothing short of magical, Disney-style.

#1: The Princesses. The memories my daughter walks away with after meeting and talking to each of the princesses is, again, priceless. They engaged her in conversations. They hugged her. They created a magical sparkle in her eyes that reappears every time she talks about her spring break. And that, folks, is truly what it is all about.

Vacationing with kids, especially younger ones, is very different -- it takes on a whole new meaning. Maybe I'm just corny, but my eyes got all watery when I saw them having the trip of a lifetime. Yes, the adults had a fantastic time -- I did not want to get off that ship!! But seeing the magical time the kids were having -- well, that truly was priceless. And worth the 360+ days of waiting. Painfully waiting for our magical journey across the ocean.