Over the weekend, I was taking an online course to re-certify my safe environment status. I volunteer at our church, and this is part of the effort to make our children safe in all environments. For my course this year, I chose online safety -- protecting our kids online, most specifically against online predators. Now, I'm online every day, as we all know, for work. I most definitely know that the Internet is forever and basically anything can be hacked, including things like parental controls. But even I watched the video with a tad bit of horror. As my kids get older, and their familiarity with the computer grows, I will be facing these challenges as a parent -- not as a professional. And that scares me. This course scared me, because I made myself view it as a parent. I tried to ignore all of the intimate knowledge I have of the online and social media world and took the course as a parent. Wow.
This is my one soapbox post for the year (OK, maybe not the year, but still!). I do encourage parents to take more than what you would think is an active role in your child's online activity. Because bad things online can, AND DO, happen to anyone. OnGuardOnline.gov has excellent resources for anyone, but especially for parents. There is an entire section on protecting kids online. I found this cheat sheet on talking to your kids eye-opening and helpful. Talking to your kids about being safe online and educating them about child predators and online pornography (which is the number one online industry!) is not easy. No one is saying it is. But it is necessary.
As is monitoring your child's online activity. The online course I took made a point of emphasizing (over and over and over again) that, as a parent, you should set the expectation with your children that there is no expectation of privacy with their computer use. You will know their passwords to everything, and you will log onto their accounts, on occasion, to see their activity. The computer will not be in their bedroom, but rather in a very public room in the house (if it is a laptop, set the rule that it will not be taken to a child's bedroom). And do know that, especially with tech-savvy kids, manipulating any parental control settings is possible. Kids can, and do, change parental control settings all the time. Although it is a nice tool, especially for younger, less tech-savvy kids, do not place blind faith in the feature.
And then there is the whole issue of kids on social media. Remember, even though social media sites will "impose" an age minimum, any child can go around that. It is not a fail-safe, it is there merely to "protect" the social media company. Every parent will decide for themselves when to let their children on social media. Remember, though, that once your children sign up with a social media site, they are up there on this WORLD WIDE web. And anyone can track them down (don't be fooled by privacy settings). It is OK to tell your children they are too young to be on social media. They will probably say they hate you, that you are "so not fair" and that every single one of their friends is on Facebook. But hey, you've heard it all before, right? I hear it for merely telling my kid she can't have a snack five minutes before dinner!
One of my most important reminders (one that I have to battle with others at the office every day) is that the Internet is forever. If your child posts a photo online and later "deletes" or "removes" it, those actions did not accomplish what your child (or possibly you) believe. It did not delete it from the Internet. It is still out there AND it is still accessible. And don't forget, while it was "published", anyone can perform that handy trick of "right clicking" to download, copy, save and make viral any photo online.
When the time is right for your child to be online, please also talk to them about cyber-bullying. This is another difficult conversation, but again, extremely important. Educate them about both sides of cyber-bullying, because either side is horrible.
Please, please, please, for the sake of our kids, chose this time to play your ultimate parent card. Our kids do not need us to be friends or guidance counselors for their online activity. They need us to be parents. To step up and lay down the firm, undeniable law. There is an abundance of resources out there for parents, helping them with tips from talking to your kids to advising them on what to do and say over social media. The time to protect them is now...before something happens.
...and off the soapbox. Thanks for indulging!
